M: Actually, I think I made it a whole year without going to the ER/ Dr!
Go me!

Readthisbitch: wow!!! congrats!
i’ll always remember the story of the huge mucous that came out of your nose after your septum operation
i tell it at parties lol
i also tell your mystery disease horror story

M: Oh god

R: lmao
appropriate reaction

M: Never introduce me to your friends!!!! Lol