Boyfriend: OMG I just typed in ‘what are’ into the google search bar
BF: And the first result was ‘What are the bases?’ !!!!!!
BF: lmao

Readthisbitch: hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa that is hilarious

BF: so many kids want to know! ahahaha

R: i know!
R: it’s not french feel finger fuck
R: it’s french, feeling with hands/manual stimulation, oral stimulation, fucking

BF: i always thought it was kissing, above the waist, below the waist, boning
BF: and a bj is ‘3.5 base’

R: nope
R: bj is 3rd

BF: !

R: these are the bases that i established and they make the most sense

BF: fingering is not second base!!!
BF: fingering is 3rd. 2nd is boobies. Ask any high schooler haha

R: yeah but i made my own
R: because fingering/hjs vs bjs/oral is a HUGE difference

BF: well yeah, but now boobs don’t have their own base
BF: you are free to make up your own bases but no one will know what you’re talking about! haha

R: lmao yeah because i talk about it sooo often
R: boobs should be in the same base as vages and dicks
R: it’s feeling naked private parts!

BF: w/o an orgasm tho
BF: thats a pretty big diff

R: orgasms are not implied in any of the bases
R: they’re just a result of some of them sometimes
R: if you’re lucky

BF: well like i said you are free to have your own twisted base system if you wish

R: lmaoooo
R: your system is wrong

BF: !
BF: stop trollin haha

R: ohhh and youre not trolling at all
R: maybe thats why there are so many searches for it
R: because there are no established ones

BF: well yeah!

R: so mine is no more twisted than anyone’s

BF: no 1st 2nd and home base are all established
BF: 3rd is contentious whether it includes bjs or not

R: babe you’re the one who thinks there’s this mysterious “3.5th base”

BF: 3.5 base is just a theory to explain one inconsistency in the established base model. I can’t say with certainty if it exists or not.
BF: that is for greater minds than mine to decide