People who steal from other people are the scummiest of all thieves.

I used to steal from giant chain stores. I don’t feel too bad about it. The only reason I don’t do it anymore is because I now know what it’s like to get arrested and it’s not worth it.

But I never stole from an individual person (or even a small independent store) because that is just, so shitty! Especially if the person or store is not RICH, it’s like, you just screwed over your fellow woman. Maybe that was her favorite item. Way to be a horrible person.

Here’s a list of the things I have been robbed of in my life. There are not many but it still blows.

1) My favorite winter jacket I’ve ever had, stolen from me at a party. It was freezing and snowing and I had to walk mad long to the bus stop in the cold. Some bitch was snuggly and warm in MY perfect coat.  It was just literally the best jacket ever. I won’t even go into detail about its amazing features because I won’t be able to see the screen through my tears. And it was from TJ Maxx so obviously I never found one like it ever again. I still mourn it to this day, and this was about 2 years ago.

2) The fucking recycling receptacles we put out every week! Who the fuck is stealing these and why?! We’ve had about 4 or 5 containers stolen over the course of the 3 years we have lived here. They always take the nice (as nice as a garbage bin can be) ones, not the shitty broken one that we kind of wanted to disappear. And these things are cheap, we can just get more, but SO COULD THE ASSHOLES WHO ARE STEALING THEM! It’s just so douchey! I went to the trouble of going to the damn store and buying them, and so can you.

Whoever stole my shit… I wish upon you a terrible, terrible fate!